DyingOnStageLyrics

Dying on Stage

music and lyrics by Bernard Hull

How many ways can a singer expire on the stage?
Here in the opera it’s rare that we die from old age,
Perhaps caused by poison or fatal disease,
Or a deadly incision with stealth,
A leap from a castle or drowned in the seas,
Yes, singing is bad for one’s health!

Most operas are littered with divas and Dons,
Who are dying to sing one last air,
They start out in fantasy land full of hope,
But they frequently die in despair,
This tragic condition is hard to resist,
Though try as they may, Heaven knows,
There’s no health insurance that covers this illness,
“The fatal attraction of shows.”

Tragic opera,
Twisting plots are intended,
And belief is suspended,
At the theatre door
Tragic opera,
Where the sets are palatial
All diseases are fatal,
That’s immutable law,

No antibiotic or pain killing potion.
Can deal with this hopeless affliction,
No steam inhalation or topical lotion
Will lead to this ill’s interdiction.
There’s only one hope to prolong earthly days,
That all the good divi well know,
No matter how close to expiring you are…
Just sing to the end of the show!

Tragic opera,
Where our cash is expended
Human life is extended
Just by singing an air,
Tragic opera,
Where the music’s electric
And the voice is iatric
Though it may not seem fair

You may think it crude,
That a corpse should exude,
Lyric sound that is not cacophonic,
And though wracked with disease,
They can still rise with ease,
To B flats that are quite astronomic,
When they spin out high Bs or even high Cs,
Don’t be shocked, they may even go higher,
If they get to E flat, it’s a certain sign that,
They are surely about to expire,

Tragic opera!
Over-dosed with desire,
Guaranteed to go higher
When the blood starts to stew,
Tragic opera!
What a wonderful tonic,
Every illness is chronic
And incurable too.

Were a diva to die by conventional means,
Or in quite unintentional ways,
Would Newtonian Law
Rule the theatre once more,
Or would life disappear in a haze?

Tragic opera!
Full of foreign mystique,
Yes, that’s “Opera tragique”
If you parlez Français
Tragic opera
The Italians love it,
There’s no art form above it
What a fabulous craze

Tragic opera,
As the singing gets longer
Dying tenors get stronger
Though the plot’s full of flaws

Tragic opera!
Where the diva will cop it
Only one thing will stop it
Loud and thunderous applause